26 May, 2022, 5:24am
We can know God if we will: Pray to Him (see James 1:5).
“5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
James 1:5–6
6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering.”
Taken from the Gospel Principles manual by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
I glory in plainness; I glory in truth; I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell.
Nephi
I’ve been working on step 4 across a five year period. I’ve completed the 12 steps in the Addiction Recovery Program (ARP) through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints once in 12 years. I’ve restarted the Program several times, but tend to get stuck on step 4.
It seems self-abusive patterns sneak back into my life when things get hard. As I took step 4, I discovered underlying emotions and beliefs that were symptomatic of pride, envy, bitterness, and resentment. I learned the importance to supplement each day with gratitude, faith, prayer, and scripture study. Other vital steps include striving to remember my divine heritage as a child of God, striving to counsel with the Lord, and striving to follow promptings I receive. These daily practices help me step away from addiction and step toward Jesus Christ.
I’ve experienced varying forms of sobriety. In 20 years, this is the longest length of time I’ve resisted temptation, including self-abusive patterns, yet many days I make choices which slide me back to neglect my needs whether temporal, spiritual, or emotional.
I used to physically harm my body, especially during the ages of 15-17. Now, when I self-abuse, it’s in a verbal/emotional form. I look in the mirror or sit on the sofa and listen to the thoughts pick apart my body, my looks, my character, and who I am as a person. I could choose to walk away, I could choose to hum a favorite hymn or familiar tune, but when I’m tired, weary, and worn down, it becomes increasingly difficult to battle the adversary’s blasts of attempts to tear me down.
When we listen to the harmful thoughts, it engages our minds in an emotional self-destructive warfare. We have the ability to choose to tune our mind differently, but we must become aware of what’s happening. Typically, these patterns have seed in our childhood, are immensely difficult to break, and cannot be done alone.
To overcome these harmful cycles, Step 4 deals with telling the truth and making a fearless written moral inventory. It doesn’t mean we won’t have fear in writing our inventory.
The following ARP passages have helped me to navigate difficult memories as I’ve worked on my personal inventory:
Look beyond your past behaviors and examine the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that led to your behavior. Your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs are actually the roots of your addictive behaviors.
ARP – STEP 4
Unless you examine all your tendencies toward fear, pride, resentment, anger, self-will, and self-pity, your abstinence will be shaky at best.
This last week, abusive thoughts and temptations infiltrated my mind more often than usual. I’ve been dealing with sickness and lack of sleep. It seems these are times when harmful thoughts are most prevalent. Regardless, I continued to work on my inventory and came to realize how mentally crippling beliefs, attitudes, and emotions affected my destructive decisions.
I was concsciously unaware of feelings, thoughts, and beliefs which existed and continue to influence my reactions, but as I’ve addressed them and made a physical copy of my inventory, I’ve slowly begun to process examine these tendencies in the situations that come to my mind. Prayer and trusting the Lord through your process is key.
In his 96 years, President Russell M. Nelson of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has seen many trials. But he says there’s a simple remedy to help us find joy in hard times—gratitude.
President Russell M. Nelson on the Healing Power of Gratitude
Gratitude precedes miracles. Thomas S. Monson, 16th President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, described the following biblical experience to illustrate this truth:
In the book of Matthew in the Bible, we have another account of gratitude, this time as an expression from the Savior. As He traveled in the wilderness for three days, more than 4,000 people followed and traveled with Him. He took compassion on them, for they may not have eaten during the entire three days. His disciples, however, questioned, “Whence should we have so much bread in the wilderness, as to fill so great a multitude?” Like many of us, the disciples saw only what was lacking.
The Divine Gift of Gratitude“And Jesus saith unto them, How many loaves have ye? And [the disciples] said, Seven, and a few little fishes. “And [Jesus] commanded the multitude to sit down on the ground. “And he took the seven loaves and the fishes, and gave thanks, and brake them, and gave to his disciples, and the disciples to the multitude.” Notice that the Savior gave thanks for what they had—and a miracle followed: “And they did all eat, and were filled: and they took up of the broken meat that was left seven baskets full.” We have all experienced times when our focus is on what we lack rather than on our blessings. Said the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.” Gratitude is a divine principle. The Lord declared through a revelation given to the Prophet Joseph Smith: “Thou shalt thank the Lord thy God in all things. … “And in nothing doth man offend God, or against none is his wrath kindled, save those who confess not his hand in all things.” In the Book of Mormon we are told to “live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which [God] doth bestow upon you.” Regardless of our circumstances, each of us has much for which to be grateful if we will but pause and contemplate our blessings.
Gratitude, combined with faith can bring about miraculous events, including healing. I still have a long ways to go, but I’ve gone almost a year without a MAJOR relapse into eating patterns, gaming, or pornographic pursuits. I’ve had micro relapses but nothing compared to my past addictions. I could not have made it this far without Jesus Christ and His infinite sacrifice through The Atonement. Gratitude is one way to combat these patterns.
I could not have made it this far without the Saviors merits, mercy, and grace. I could not have done this without The Lord and all those people he has placed in my life to help me along my way. I would be a completely different person without my Lord, my God. My Redeemer. The truths I have learned through the restored gospel of Jesus Christ have given me the direction to take, one step at a time.
I am grateful for the knowledge I have gained, the experiences, the trials, and hardships. They have brought me to my knees and have brought me closer to my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. They have brought me closer to my family and relationships that uplift and inspire. I have worked on making reconciliation in many relationships and have been working to right wrongs that I didn’t realize needed addressing until going through another one of the Church’s Programs, The Emotional Resilience Course.
My cousin Audrey and I have been working on the emotional resilience course through the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints too. This has been a huge help. Yesterday here’s what we covered:
You are a child of God. He is the Father of your spirit. Spiritually you are of noble birth, the offspring of the King of Heaven. Fix that truth in your mind and hold to it” (Boyd K. Packer, “To Young Women and Men,” Ensign, May 1989, 54).
My Foundation: Our Divine Identity and Purpose
“Be careful how you characterize yourself. Don’t characterize or define yourself by some temporary quality. The only single quality that should characterize us is that we are a son or daughter of God. That fact transcends all other characteristics, including race, occupation, physical characteristics, honors, or even religious affiliation” (Dallin H. Oaks, “How to Define Yourself,” New Era, June 2013, 48).
“You are unique. One of a kind, made of the eternal intelligence which gives you claim upon eternal life.
“Let there be no question in your mind about your value as an individual. The whole intent of the gospel plan is to provide an opportunity for each of you to reach your fullest potential, which is eternal progression and the possibility of godhood” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters,” Ensign, Nov. 1978, 105).
I know as I remember the truth that I am a child of God and that everyone around me are children of God, a loving Heavebly Father, then I can begin to change my patterns of self-objectification and objectifying others. We are not objects to be acted upon. We are human beings with hearts and souls with divine worth and potential. As I remember these truths I can see others as they really are and I can see myself as a true daughter of a Heavenly King who loves me infinitely and truly wants whats best for me, but I mist choose. It is my choice. A choice a make daily to either follow after truth and light, or to turn away from the Savior. Many times, I turn away! But because of the gift of repentance and because of Jesus Christ, I can change! Glory glory hallelujah I can change!
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord;
Battle Hymn of the Republic
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored.
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of his terrible, swift sword;
His truth is marching on.
[Chorus]
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.
2. He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never call retreat;
He is sifting out the hearts of men before his judgment seat.
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer him; be jubilant my feet!
Our God is marching on.
[Chorus]
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.
3. In the beauty of the lilies, Christ was born across the sea,
With a glory in his bosom that transfigures you and me.
As he died to make men holy, let us live to make men free,
While God is marching on.
[Chorus]
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.
Text: Julia Ward Howe, 1819–1910
Music: Anon., ca. 1861
Alma 5:50
Doctrine and Covenants 65:1–6
God is truth. God is light. God is love. As I have trusted Him, and let Him direct my path, my joy is fuller, my happiness is more glorious, And my life is more uplifting and fulfilling. I promise that if you look to God, even if you can no more than desire to believe to know the truth for yourself, God will guide you. Just pray. I promise He is there. I promise He is listening. If it weren’t true. I would not be here today! God lives! He will hear you and answer your prayer if you but ask in faith, nothing wavering, to know the direction you must take to follow after truth. I promise if you ask God, our eternal Father in the name of His only begotten son, Jesus Christ, in faith, he will answer your prayer.
In the sacred name of My Lord and Savior, He who is most divine, most Holy, even Jesus Christ, Amen.
President Boyd K. Packer (1924–2015) of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints explained how irreverent behavior affects our ability to receive spiritual guidance:
“This trend to more noise, more excitement, more contention, less restraint, less dignity, less formality is not coincidental nor innocent nor harmless.
“The first order issued by a commander mounting a military invasion is the jamming of the channels of communication of those he intends to conquer.
“Irreverence suits the purposes of the adversary by obstructing the delicate channels of revelation in both mind and spirit” (Boyd K. Packer, “Reverence Invites Revelation,” Ensign, Nov. 1991, 22). See also Lesson 19: 1 Nephi 18
In the Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ, we see an example of this behavior in an Israelite family who fled Jerusalem before its destruction. Nephi, son of Lehi, an Israelite prophet, recorded the following account:
9 And after we had been driven forth before the wind for the space of many days, behold, my brethren and the sons of Ishmael and also their wives began to make themselves merry, insomuch that they began to dance, and to sing, and to speak with much rudeness, yea, even that they did forget by what power they had been brought thither; yea, they were lifted up unto exceeding rudeness.
10 And I, Nephi, began to fear exceedingly lest the Lord should be angry with us, and smite us because of our iniquity, that we should be swallowed up in the depths of the sea; wherefore, I, Nephi, began to speak to them with much soberness; but behold they were angry with me, saying: We will not that our younger brother shall be a ruler over us.
11 And it came to pass that Laman and Lemuel did take me and bind me with cords, and they did treat me with much harshness; nevertheless, the Lord did suffer it that he might show forth his power, unto the fulfilling of his word which he had spoken concerning the wicked.
12 And it came to pass that after they had bound me insomuch that I could not move, the compass, which had been prepared of the Lord, did cease to work.
See 1 Nephi 18:9–12 “They began to dance, and to sing, and to speak with much rudeness”
As I’ve struggled to overcome multiple addictions, my media selection in particular has impeded my ability to receive revelation and hear the voice of The Lord. My media decisions always preceed later decisions to succumb to temptations. However, when I’m cautious with my media, and choose to focus on uplifting media that doesn’t contain immorality, drug and alcohol use, and violence, I have a better ability to overcome the temptations to return to old habits I want out of my life!
Just keep going. I can’t tell you what to do, but I can testify of the power of spiritual guidance that came as I was first honest and truthful with myself, sought uplifting media and entertainment, and strived to have personal scripture study and prayer more often. This lead to personal revelation which directed me on what I needed to change, and these daily choices continue to allow the spirit to influence mine and my family’s life!
Some examples of change I felt I needed to do, through the spirit, included the elimination and deletion of social media accounts entirely for a time, including my personal email. I was also directed to restrict some relationships or eliminate contact with certain people, whom I loved and enjoyed hanging out with, that later I realized caused temptation to enter my thoughts.
It’s hard to live in a world of instant access and remove ourselves from relationships that impede our progression, but we are to live in the world and not be of it (see John 17:15–17). I testify that as we strive to love the Lord and keep His commandments, he will bless us with the ability to hear His voice. #Hearhim
Henry B. Eyring, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints discusses this question during the April 2005 General Conference which was held in SLC, Utah, USA.
He’s states,
It is important to know why the Lord promised to send Elijah. Elijah was a great prophet with great power given him by God. He held the greatest power God gives to His children: he held the sealing power, the power to bind on earth and have it bound in heaven. God gave it to the Apostle Peter. And the Lord kept His promise to send Elijah. Elijah came to the Prophet Joseph Smith on April 3, 1836, just after the dedication of the Kirtland Temple, the first temple built after the Restoration of the gospel. Joseph described the sacred moment.
“Hearts Bound Together,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2005, 78
Eyring then quotes Joseph Smith’s account of “visions manifested to Joseph Smith the Prophet and Oliver Cowdery in the temple at Kirtland, Ohio, April 3, 1836” as recorded in Doctrine and Covenants 110. This experience describes “Elijah’s return and he commits the keys of his dispensation as promised by Malachi” (see Doctrine and Covenants 110).
13 After this vision had closed, another great and glorious vision burst upon us; for Elijah the prophet, who was taken to heaven without tasting death, stood before us, and said:
Doctrine and Covenants 110:13–16
14 Behold, the time has fully come, which was spoken of by the mouth of Malachi—testifying that he [Elijah] should be sent, before the great and dreadful day of the Lord come—
15 To turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the children to the fathers, lest the whole earth be smitten with a curse—
16 Therefore, the keys of this dispensation are committed into your hands; and by this ye may know that the great and dreadful day of the Lord is near, even at the doors.
What did Elijah restore?
President Henry B. Eyring said: “It is important to know why the Lord promised to send Elijah. Elijah was a great prophet with great power given him by God. He held the greatest power God gives to His children: he held the sealing power, the power to bind on earth and have it bound in heaven” (“Hearts Bound Together,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2005, 78).
See Come Follow Me, January 11–17
Doctrine and Covenants 2; Joseph Smith—History 1:27–65 “The Hearts of the Children Shall Turn to Their Fathers”
See also Doctrine and Covenants 110:13–16; David A. Bednar, “Let This House Be Built unto My Name,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2020, 84–87.
I believe the earth was created for families as taught throughout scripture (insert reference here) and as found in The Family: A Proclamation to the World. The family is sacred. Marriage is sacred. Many share different beliefs, but The Savior’s love is infinite and eternal (see D. Todd Christofferson) just as the family can be and is meant to be (insert scripture reference here). However, we all have our own agency (reference) and we must decide for ourselves the path we will follow. In the end, “Decisions determine destiny” (Thomas S. Monson).
[December 28, 2020, 7:06 AM]
While reading Come Follow Me this morning, I discovered the following question I had written next to verses 19-22 of section 1 in The Doctrine and Covenants on Jan 1, 2017 Sunday:
It was neat to come across the following passage as I supplemented my study with Come Follow Me this morning.
“In November 1831, the restored Church of Jesus Christ was just a year and a half old. Though growing, it was still an obscure group of believers living in a sparsely settled frontier, led by a prophet in his mid-twenties. But God considered these believers to be His servants and His messengers, and He wanted the revelations He had given them to be published to the world…”
“It is a ‘voice of warning’ for all ‘the inhabitants of the earth,’ teaching them to repent and establish God’s ‘everlasting covenant’ (verses 4, 8, 22)”
December 28–January 3. Doctrine and Covenants 1: “Hearken, O Ye People”
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf teaches, “Part of the reason for poor judgment comes from the tendency… to blur the line between belief and truth. We too often confuse belief with truth, thinking that because something makes sense or is convenient, it must be true. Conversely, we sometimes don’t believe truth or reject it—because it would require us to change or admit that we were wrong…When the opinions or ‘truths’ of others contradict our own, instead of considering the possibility that there could be information that might be helpful and augment or complement what we know, we often jump to conclusions or make assumptions that the other person is misinformed, mentally challenged, or even intentionally trying to deceive (What is Truth?).
Sister Julie B. Beck explained the doctrine of the family in her address, Teaching the Doctrine of the Family
“In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a theology of the family that is based on the Creation, the Fall, and the Atonement. The Creation of the earth provided a place where families could live. God created a man and a woman who were the two essential halves of a family. It was part of Heavenly Father’s plan that Adam and Eve be sealed and form an eternal family.
The Fall provided a way for the family to grow. Adam and Eve were family leaders who chose to have a mortal experience. The Fall made it possible for them to have sons and daughters.
The Atonement allows for the family to be sealed together eternally. It allows for families to have eternal growth and perfection. The plan of happiness, also called the plan of salvation, was a plan created for families. The rising generation need to understand that the main pillars of our theology are centered in the family”
Elder D. Todd Christofferson reminds us that “Prophets have revealed that we first existed as intelligences and that we were given form, or spirit bodies, by God, thus becoming His spirit children—sons and daughters of heavenly parents.3 There came a time in this premortal existence of spirits when, in furtherance of His desire that we “could have a privilege to advance like himself,”4 our Heavenly Father prepared an enabling plan. In the scriptures it is given various names, including “the plan of salvation,”5 “the great plan of happiness,”6 and “the plan of redemption.”7 The two principal purposes of the plan were explained to Abraham in these words:
“And there stood one among them that was like unto God, and he said unto those who were with him: We will go down, for there is space there, and we will take of these materials, and we will make an earth whereon these [spirits] may dwell;
“And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;
“And they who keep their first estate shall be added upon; … and they who keep their second estate shall have glory added upon their heads for ever and ever.”8 (Christofferson, 2015)
President Hinckley believed “it should be the blessing of every child to be born into a home where that child is welcomed, nurtured, loved, and blessed with parents, a father and a mother, who live with loyalty to one another and to their children. I am sure that none of you younger women want less than this. Stand strong against the wiles of the world. The creators of our entertainment, the purveyors of much of our literature, would have you believe otherwise. The accumulated wisdom of centuries declares with clarity and certainty that the greater happiness, the greater security, the greater peace of mind, the deeper reservoirs of love are experienced only by those who walk according to time-tested standards of virtue before marriage and total fidelity within marriage” (Hinckley, 1995).
________________________________________
The family is ordained of God, and the world was created for families. We learn these truths from both ancient and modern day prophets. The spirit of the Lord will testify of these truths as we diligently seek to know the truth for ourselves (2 Nephi 31:18; Moroni 10:5; John 14:26; 2 Nephi 32:5; Enos 1:3; See 1 Corinthians 12:1–12; Moroni 10:8–18; D&C 46:11–33; Moroni 8:26; Moses 6:64–66; see Mosiah 4:1–3; 5:1–6).
References
Hinckley, G.B. (1995, November). Stand Strong against the Wiles of the World. Ensign, 25, p.102). Retrieved from https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/1995/10/stand-strong-against-the-wiles-of-the-world?lang=eng
Christofferson, D.T. (2015, May). Why Marriage, Why Family. Ensign. Retrieved from https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2015/04/why-marriage-why-family?lang=eng&_r=1
See Also
Cleansing the Inner Vessel (Links to an external site.) by Boyd K. Packer, President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
Defenders of the Family Proclamation (Links to an external site.) by Sister Bonnie L. Oscarson, Young Women General President.
Teaching the Doctrine of the Family (Links to an external site.) by Sister Julie B. Beck, Relief Society General President 2007–2012.
Why Marriage, Why Family (Links to an external site.) by Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.
“Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved. Friends move away, children grow up, loved ones pass on. It’s so easy to take others for granted, until that day when they’re gone from our lives and we are left with feelings of ‘what if’ and ‘if only.'”
“Finding Joy in the Journey” , President Thomas S. Monson
_______________________
In my parenting class at Brigham Young University-Idaho, we’re reading The Anatomy of Peace. This week we’re focusing on Part 4 “Spreading Peace” Chapters. 22-24. Yusuf continues to discuss the Influence pyramid approach to relationships. He asks the question, “When we’re trying to effect change in others, whether in a child, in a team at work, or in a region of the world, we are trying to correct them, are we not? We are believing that circumstances would be better if another changed. Right?”
He addresses the concern of desiring change in others. He discusses that wanting someone to change isn’t the problem; the problem is when we try to force the change. Why is this a problem? Think of why we’re here on earth. Aren’t we here to learn to become righteous stewards and agents unto ourselves? (see Doctrine and Covenants 58:28; Abraham 3:25; Helaman 14:30–31, 2 Nephi 10:23–24; Hymn 240 “Know This, That Every Soul Is Free”).
Yusuf continues to teach that if we desire for others to change, we must examine ourselves. At this invitation, I reflected on the four boxes The authors introduced early in the book. I usually get stuck in more than one “box” of thinking. I have found myself in all four boxes at some point in my life. With my family I notice I’m frequently in the I-deserve, better-than, and Must-be-seen-as boxes. Getting out of the box is a continual process. We never reach perfection in this life, so we must always be working on something. I have many things I must work on, but right now I’ve felt to focus on humility.
Do I know what my husband loves to do? Do I still have heart-to-hearts with him? Am I viewing him as an object (a way to accomplish tasks), or do I see his hopes, dreams, desires, concerns, strengths, struggles and fears? Are his hopes, fears and burdens as real to me as my own? (viewing him as a person).
In the Anatomy of Peace, we learn that we must spend the most time at the bottom of the pyramid. If we have an issue at one of the levels, like “Teach & Communicate” then the answer is to “Build the Relationship.” Whatever issue arises at one level, the answer to the problem is “always below that level of the pyramid” (Arbinger Institute, 2015). In the book, Yusuf explains that typically when we’re struggling with teaching and communicating, we try to teach and communicate more, but that isn’t the answer. if we look at the pyramid the answer is…..”listen & learn.”
If I am struggling at all levels of the pyramid, then I must go to the lowest level of the pyramid. Yusuf teaches that ” Ultimately, my effectiveness at each level of the Pyramid depends on the deepest level of the pyramid-my way of being.” If I’m in the box while trying to do any of these levels of the pyramid, I will not progress in my relationships (Research ARBINGER Pyramid of Influence and the four boxes below labled “better-than,” “I-deserve,” “must-be-seen-as,” and “worse-than.” I had to first identify my feeling toward that person then I was able to see how i viewed myself, my view of others, and my view of the world. My efforts and motivations for acting must be pure and out of love. If there’s any sense of pride, nothing will change.
The following is from the talk “Beware of Pride” by President Ezra Taft Benson
Three times in the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord uses the phrase “beware of pride,” including a warning to the second elder of the Church, Oliver Cowdery, and to Emma Smith, the wife of the Prophet. (D&C 23:1; see also D&C 25:14; D&C 38:39.)
Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance. (See Mosiah 3:11; 3 Ne. 6:18.) In the scriptures there is no such thing as righteous pride—it is always considered a sin. Therefore, no matter how the world uses the term, we must understand how God uses the term so we can understand the language of holy writ and profit thereby. (See 2 Ne. 4:15; Mosiah 1:3–7; Alma 5:61.)
Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All of these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing.
The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” It is the power by which Satan wishes to reign over us.
Pride is essentially competitive in nature. We pit our will against God’s. When we direct our pride toward God, it is in the spirit of “my will and not thine be done.” As Paul said, they “seek their own, not the things which are Jesus Christ’s.” (Philip. 2:21.)
Our will in competition to God’s will allows desires, appetites, and passions to go unbridled. (See Alma 38:12; 3 Ne. 12:30.)
The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives. (See Hel. 12:6.) They pit their perceptions of truth against God’s great knowledge, their abilities versus God’s priesthood power, their accomplishments against His mighty works.
Our enmity toward God takes on many labels, such as rebellion, hard-heartedness, stiff-neckedness, unrepentant, puffed up, easily offended, and sign seekers. The proud wish God would agree with them. They aren’t interested in changing their opinions to agree with God’s.
Another major portion of this very prevalent sin of pride is enmity toward our fellowmen. We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them. (See Hel. 6:17; D&C 58:41.)
The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others. In the words of C. S. Lewis: “Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man. … It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition has gone, pride has gone.” (Mere Christianity, New York: Macmillan, 1952, pp. 109–10.)
In the pre-earthly council, Lucifer placed his proposal in competition with the Father’s plan as advocated by Jesus Christ. (See Moses 4:1–3.) He wished to be honored above all others. (See 2 Ne. 24:13.) In short, his prideful desire was to dethrone God. (See D&C 29:36; D&C 76:28.)
The scriptures abound with evidences of the severe consequences of the sin of pride to individuals, groups, cities, and nations. “Pride goeth before destruction.” (Prov. 16:18.) It destroyed the Nephite nation and the city of Sodom. (See Moro. 8:27; Ezek. 16:49–50.)
It was through pride that Christ was crucified. The Pharisees were wroth because Jesus claimed to be the Son of God, which was a threat to their position, and so they plotted His death. (See John 11:53.)
Saul became an enemy to David through pride. He was jealous because the crowds of Israelite women were singing that “Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.” (1 Sam. 18:6–8.)
The proud stand more in fear of men’s judgment than of God’s judgment. (See D&C 3:6–7; D&C 30:1–2; D&C 60:2.) “What will men think of me?” weighs heavier than “What will God think of me?”
King Noah was about to free the prophet Abinadi, but an appeal to his pride by his wicked priests sent Abinadi to the flames. (See Mosiah 17:11–12.) Herod sorrowed at the request of his wife to behead John the Baptist. But his prideful desire to look good to “them which sat with him at meat” caused him to kill John. (Matt. 14:9; see also Mark 6:26.)
Fear of men’s judgment manifests itself in competition for men’s approval. The proud love “the praise of men more than the praise of God.” (John 12:42–43.) Our motives for the things we do are where the sin is manifest. Jesus said He did “always those things” that pleased God. (John 8:29.) Would we not do well to have the pleasing of God as our motive rather than to try to elevate ourselves above our brother and outdo another?
Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else’s. Their reward is being a cut above the rest. This is the enmity of pride.
When pride has a hold on our hearts, we lose our independence of the world and deliver our freedoms to the bondage of men’s judgment. The world shouts louder than the whisperings of the Holy Ghost. The reasoning of men overrides the revelations of God, and the proud let go of the iron rod. (See 1 Ne. 8:19–28; 1 Ne. 11:25; 1 Ne. 15:23–24.)
Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves. Most of us consider pride to be a sin of those on the top, such as the rich and the learned, looking down at the rest of us. (See 2 Ne. 9:42.) There is, however, a far more common ailment among us—and that is pride from the bottom looking up. It is manifest in so many ways, such as faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond our means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous.
Disobedience is essentially a prideful power struggle against someone in authority over us. It can be a parent, a priesthood leader, a teacher, or ultimately God. A proud person hates the fact that someone is above him. He thinks this lowers his position.
Selfishness is one of the more common faces of pride. “How everything affects me” is the center of all that matters—self-conceit, self-pity, worldly self-fulfillment, self-gratification, and self-seeking.
Pride results in secret combinations which are built up to get power, gain, and glory of the world. (See Hel. 7:5; Ether 8:9, 16, 22–23; Moses 5:31.) This fruit of the sin of pride, namely secret combinations, brought down both the Jaredite and the Nephite civilizations and has been and will yet be the cause of the fall of many nations. (See Ether 8:18–25.)
Another face of pride is contention. Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride.
Contention in our families drives the Spirit of the Lord away. It also drives many of our family members away. Contention ranges from a hostile spoken word to worldwide conflicts. The scriptures tell us that “only by pride cometh contention.” (Prov. 13:10; see also Prov. 28:25.)
The scriptures testify that the proud are easily offended and hold grudges. (See 1 Ne. 16:1–3.) They withhold forgiveness to keep another in their debt and to justify their injured feelings.
The proud do not receive counsel or correction easily. (See Prov. 15:10; Amos 5:10.) Defensiveness is used by them to justify and rationalize their frailties and failures. (See Matt. 3:9; John 6:30–59.)
The proud depend upon the world to tell them whether they have value or not. Their self-esteem is determined by where they are judged to be on the ladders of worldly success. They feel worthwhile as individuals if the numbers beneath them in achievement, talent, beauty, or intellect are large enough. Pride is ugly. It says, “If you succeed, I am a failure.”
If we love God, do His will, and fear His judgment more than men’s, we will have self-esteem.
Pride is a damning sin in the true sense of that word. It limits or stops progression. (See Alma 12:10–11.) The proud are not easily taught. (See 1 Ne. 15:3, 7–11.) They won’t change their minds to accept truths, because to do so implies they have been wrong.
Pride adversely affects all our relationships—our relationship with God and His servants, between husband and wife, parent and child, employer and employee, teacher and student, and all mankind. Our degree of pride determines how we treat our God and our brothers and sisters. Christ wants to lift us to where He is. Do we desire to do the same for others?
Pride fades our feelings of sonship to God and brotherhood to man. It separates and divides us by “ranks,” according to our “riches” and our “chances for learning.” (3 Ne. 6:12.) Unity is impossible for a proud people, and unless we are one we are not the Lord’s. (See Mosiah 18:21; D&C 38:27; D&C 105:2–4; Moses 7:18.)
Think of what pride has cost us in the past and what it is now costing us in our own lives, our families, and the Church.
Think of the repentance that could take place with lives changed, marriages preserved, and homes strengthened, if pride did not keep us from confessing our sins and forsaking them. (See D&C 58:43.)
Think of the many who are less active members of the Church because they were offended and their pride will not allow them to forgive or fully sup at the Lord’s table.
Think of the tens of thousands of additional young men and couples who could be on missions except for the pride that keeps them from yielding their hearts unto God. (See Alma 10:6; Hel. 3:34–35.)
Think how temple work would increase if the time spent in this godly service were more important than the many prideful pursuits that compete for our time.
Pride affects all of us at various times and in various degrees. Now you can see why the building in Lehi’s dream that represents the pride of the world was large and spacious and great was the multitude that did enter into it. (See 1 Ne. 8:26, 33; 1 Ne. 11:35–36.)
Pride is the universal sin, the great vice. Yes, pride is the universal sin, the great vice.
The antidote for pride is humility—meekness, submissiveness. (See Alma 7:23.) It is the broken heart and contrite spirit. (See 3 Ne. 9:20; 3 Ne. 12:19; D&C 20:37; D&C 59:8; Ps. 34:18; Isa. 57:15; Isa. 66:2.) As Rudyard Kipling put it so well:
The tumult and the shouting dies;
The captains and the kings depart.
Still stands thine ancient sacrifice,
An humble and a contrite heart.
Lord God of Hosts, be with us yet,
Lest we forget, lest we forget.
(Hymns, 1985, no. 80.)
God will have a humble people. Either we can choose to be humble or we can be compelled to be humble. Alma said, “Blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble.” (Alma 32:16.)
Let us choose to be humble.
We can choose to humble ourselves by conquering enmity toward our brothers and sisters, esteeming them as ourselves, and lifting them as high or higher than we are. (See D&C 38:24; D&C 81:5; D&C 84:106.)
We can choose to humble ourselves by receiving counsel and chastisement. (See Jacob 4:10; Hel. 15:3; D&C 63:55; D&C 101:4–5; D&C 108:1; D&C 124:61, 84; D&C 136:31; Prov. 9:8.)
We can choose to humble ourselves by forgiving those who have offended us. (See 3 Ne. 13:11, 14; D&C 64:10.)
We can choose to humble ourselves by rendering selfless service. (See Mosiah 2:16–17.)
We can choose to humble ourselves by going on missions and preaching the word that can humble others. (See Alma 4:19; Alma 31:5; Alma 48:20.)
We can choose to humble ourselves by getting to the temple more frequently.
We can choose to humble ourselves by confessing and forsaking our sins and being born of God. (See D&C 58:43; Mosiah 27:25–26; Alma 5:7–14, 49.)
We can choose to humble ourselves by loving God, submitting our will to His, and putting Him first in our lives. (See 3 Ne. 11:11; 3 Ne. 13:33; Moro. 10:32.)
Let us choose to be humble. We can do it. I know we can.
My dear brethren and sisters, we must prepare to redeem Zion. It was essentially the sin of pride that kept us from establishing Zion in the days of the Prophet Joseph Smith. It was the same sin of pride that brought consecration to an end among the Nephites. (See 4 Ne. 1:24–25.)
Pride is the great stumbling block to Zion. I repeat: Pride isthe great stumbling block to Zion.
We must cleanse the inner vessel by conquering pride. (See Alma 6:2–4; Matt. 23:25–26.)
We must yield “to the enticings of the Holy Spirit,” put off the prideful “natural man,” become “a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord,” and become “as a child, submissive, meek, humble.” (Mosiah 3:19; see also Alma 13:28.)
That we may do so and go on to fulfill our divine destiny is my fervent prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
If we desire others to change, we must first look at ourselves. Where does Pride reside, and how is it stopping us from progressing? If we read, study and ponder on the scriptures in search of the answer to the question, “What Lack I yet,” The spirit will testify what things we must work on (see Matthew 19:20)
reading, studying, and pondering are not the same. We read words and we may get ideas. We study and we may discover patterns and connections in scripture. But when we ponder, we invite revelation by the Spirit. Pondering, to me, is the thinking and the praying I do after reading and studying in the scriptures carefully.”
I know that if you remain faithful and humble, you can be strengthened through Jesus Christ. If you move forward with a prayer in your heart and a sincere desire to be better than you were yesterday, the Lord will guide you.
References:
APA (American Psychological Assoc.)
Arbinger Institute, T. (2015). The Anatomy of Peace : Resolving the Heart of Conflict (Vol. Second edition). Oakland, California: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1989/05/beware-of-pride?lang=eng
I’m currently studying Marriage and Family Studies through BYU-Idaho online after completing Pathway Connect in April 2018. I was at the crossroads again of deciding what major or career to pursue in college. This process is similar to picking a restaurant for date night. We need to eat, and we’d be happy with many different cuisines, but what will fill us up and make us happy on a typical Friday night? Usually it’s pizza. But, sometimes I want something more healthy and that makes me feel good.
There are many flavors to life and multiple careers I would be happy with, but what will be most filling and most “healthy” for my life? Sometimes I just want God to say, “This career is your best option, so pick this one.” It doesn’t work like this (D&C 58:27-28). A question asked by a loving family member helped me to form my own ideas and opinions of what would be best for me. She asked, “What area of study will benefit your family the most?” I began asking myself other questions like, “What goals do I want to accomplish?” “What career will help me progress the most and become a better person and help others?” “What career will best suit my interest, my talents, my taste and create a satisfying and fulfilling life?”
I am going to write metaphorically about health and work to connect the dots. Most days I prefer to eat in a pattern that promotes energy, health and vitality to my mind, body and soul (D&C 89:18), and I prefer to do work that does the same (D&C 88:15; Abr. 5:7). So, how did I choose to move forward with my educational path? I made a list of what I enjoy doing, what I’m good at, what skills I’ve developed, what skills I’d like to develop, and my talents (D&C 60:2). I read The Family: A Proclamation to the World (read by President Gordon B. Hinckley, 1995, General Relief Society Meeting), I pondered and studied it out in my mind of what I wanted then I prayed about it (D&C 9:7-8). I know my taste is ever changing, so I wanted to make sure that what I did satisfied a higher purpose.
Right now I want to learn about the family and how I can create healthy family relationships. *Yawn for some and, at one point, for me too. But as I have gotten older, my season of life has changed. I no longer have the ambition to move to Paris and model like I did when I was fifteen (I was tall and wanted to escape my town). I no longer have the desire to pursue a career as a nurse anesthetist like I did when I was 25 (independence and living in comfort was my goal). As I pursued education and learned to follow promptings from the spirit, I was able to choose what would fit me best. As long as I didn’t get any “red lights,” “stop signs,” or “red flags” I continued going (see Elder Rasband’s talk, “Let the Holy Spirit Guide” APRIL 2017).
I know if I desire to be happy in my career choice then I must choose to read my scriptures, pray, have faith, and participate in Sacrament meeting; I must choose to turn to God constantly through prayer to overcome hardships and trials for the rest of my life. Slowly but certainly, I will progress and become better and be happy through the atonement of Jesus Christ and by having the companionship of the Holy Ghost.
References
Photo. Web Accessed. Oct 21. 2018. https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/category/pictures-of-the-scriptures?lang=eng
Press Forward 