Author: Sarah

Married to my better half. Pursuer of Truth. Lover of Nature. Supporter of local. Appreciator of the small and simple. Member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. DISCLAIMER:  The personal thoughts and feelings  expressed are those of the author.  The author does not speak for or on behalf of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. 

Stop Believing

Original post August 11, 2022 @ 9:08am

Did anyone else start singing, “Don’t Stop Believing?”

The first words that came to mind as I input words onto the internet (can’t quite call this typing, can’t quite call this writing… thumbing? Anyways..) were “Don’t stop believing.” But I’m here to tell you to stop believing.

Stop believing you can do this alone

Stop trying to do this by yourself

If you’re crying and your heart is hurting

Keep on going, but

Stop trying to do this by yourself

Stop believing you can do this alone

The hardest part of recovery for me right now is complete honesty. Honesty with when I need to pray and ask for help. Honesty with when I need to reach out and tell someone I’m not okay.

Why is this so difficult?

Pride is my first thought… sarcasm is my second thought. I don’t use sarcasm as much anymore, buy I am very prideful. I often want to do things alone or on my own. These are the times most crucial to reach out, first in prayer. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland states,

It will be required of each of us to kneel when we may not want to kneel, to bow when we may not want to bow, to confess when we may not want to confess—perhaps a confession born of painful experience that God’s thoughts are not our thoughts, neither are his ways our ways, saith the Lord (see Isaiah 55:8).

[We must] “yield to the enticings of the Holy Spirit,” and “through the atonement of Christ . . . becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints

Stop believing you can do it on your own.

Recovery will come if you start believing you need to ask for help. First, in the form of prayer. Seek the Lord’s guiding hand then move forward with what you feel prompted to do.

It’s hard, especially if you’ve been hurt, abused, or experienced any form of trauma. You may need to seek help from a competent counselor and/or medical professional. Prayer, Honesty, and truth-telling with yourself, first, will lead you to more truth, peace, and joy. It won’t be easy. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

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Pursuit of the Eternal

The Lord is seeking men [and women] like Nehemiah—… who fulfill the oath and covenant of the priesthood. He seeks to enlist unfaltering souls who diligently go about the work of building the kingdom of God—those who, when faced with opposition and temptation, say in their hearts, “I am doing a great work and cannot come down.”
When faced with trial and suffering, they respond, “I am doing a great work and cannot come down.”
When faced with ridicule and reproach, they proclaim, “I am doing a great work and cannot come down.”
Our Heavenly Father seeks those who refuse to allow the trivial to hinder them in their pursuit of the eternal. He seeks those who will not allow the attraction of ease or the traps of the adversary to distract them from the work He has given them to perform. He seeks those whose actions conform to their words—those who say with conviction, “I am doing a great work and cannot come down.”

We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. exerpt taken from April 2009 General Conference address, “We Are Doing a Great Work and Cannot Come Down.”

What if you learned that the Savior had already returned to this earth?

So, now a question as I conclude: What if you learned that the Savior had already returned to this earth—that He, as part of His Second Coming, had already met with some of His true followers in several marvelous, large gatherings (See Bruce R. McConkie, The Millennial Messiah: The Second Coming of the Son of Man (1982), 575) —gatherings about which the world, including CNN and the blogosphere, knew nothing. If you found out that the Savior was already on the earth, what would you desperately want to do today, and what would you be willing and ready to do tomorrow?

I pray that this year you will have some moments of anguishing desperation that will propel you further along the path to becoming the man or woman you were born to be. Your true self is spectacular! Never settle for less. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

© 2015 by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. All rights reserved. English approval: 11/15. “Becoming the Person You Were Born to Be.”

Wendy Watson Nelson

Is there a God?

4th June 2022 10am

Do you think you’re crazy? I’m here to tell you, you are not alone. But I’m also here to tell you, you are not crazy.

You know that feeling inside the pit of your stomach? Where something feels…cringy…? Many may refer to it as your gut feeling or gut instinct.

Well, I ignored this feeling and eventually I was deceived because of my choice to forego any cringy or “something doesnt feel right” feeling.

Let me explain. Hi, if this is your first read of my journal entries, welcome. I’ve struggled with an onslaught of addiction and behaviors that really don’t show my appreciation and gratitude for what I have been given in life. My choices have lead me down some dark paths. I believed I had finally found the way out, and I did! But just as I thought I was at my strongest point in life, through a spiritual, temporal, and emotional lens, I was hard-core blindsided because I didnt listen to the “cringy-something-doesnt-feel-right” feeling.

I had an influence in my life who quoted scripture, prophets, and claimed to be receiving revelation and promptings from the spirit, and this was someone I considered to be a close friend. Someone I’ve known over the last 5+ years. We went to church together, we worshiped together, we cried and laughed together. This was someone I trusted.

This experience taught me a potential pattern of philosophies of men mingled with scripture. This could also be repharased as philosphies of friends mingled with scripture. Especially if used to persuade, manipulate or brag about ones spirituality and ability to receive constant revelation, as if they have am open conduit from heaven and God is speaking to them 24/7.

I thought I was a bad person because I wasn’t receiving constant revelation like this person. On may 17th she called and claimed she felt prompted to call me. I was in the middle of listening to a podcast from a locap therapist. I thought he had some good tools he was teaching the listener, so I wondered if I was being led astray and my friend was here to teach me truth.

I told her I only had 5 minutes to talk. I had left her a voicemail to apologize about something I had done, and she said Heavenly Father wanted her to tell me that His spirit had withdrawn from me, and that I didn’t owe her an apology, I owed Him and apology. This didn’t make sense because I had already asked for forgiveness. So I wondered if maybe I wasnt sincere, so then I believed what she said because I have an addiction and struggle daily! I truly thought she was talking with God and He was telling her these things, even though I reasoned against it several times.

So she portrayed God as continously talking to her. She spoke as if Heavenly Father were really talking to her, and even thought “something didn’t feel right” I thought it was because I was, for lack of a better word, not worthy and not able to have the God’s Power in my life.

BEWARE THE PHILOSOPHIES OF MEN MINGLED WITH SCRIPTURE

I’d like to say I have the truth, but really truly the only way to truth is through the Savior. I am just a person, and I can’t lead you. Only through Christ, the Lord omnipotent can truth be received.

I thought I was being lead to truth through another person, and thus experience REALLY hurt.

In 2016, I decided to leave Amy habits and behaviors behind. This was hard! I had to move and get rid of things that tied my mind back to people and situations that caused triggers and flashbacks to painful memories.

During this process I had to leave friends behind, but I also prayed for a new friend. A true friend. And along came, *Diana. We weren’t bosom buddies at first, but over time we shared a lot of spiritual knowledge and quests together. Our lives seemed to parallel one anithers in regard to trial hardship and other spiritual pursuits.

We’ve been in each other’s lives for the last 6 years. I definitely felt connected to her, perhaps more so than to my husband. THIS WAS NOT OKAY. And I wondered about thus off and on again. I just felt more spiritually connected to Diana. She often shared “revelations” and “promptings” she was receiving. It seemed she had a continual conduit of knowledge from the heavens.

I felt inspired by her, but at times… something didn’t feel right in the pit of My stomach. That gut instinct seemed to signal something was off, especially since this past March of 2022.

She bore her testimony about the Savior, and I just remember feeling…uncomfortable. I thought this meant there was something wrong with me! I remember being taught that spirit recognizes spirit, and “bad” is uncomfortable around “good.”

Well, I still have many habits that take me away from Christ, so I thought, there was something wrong with me because of my addictions. So I began to mistake the cringey feeling for this idea that Diana’s better than me and I’m worse than her. I felt shame, guilt, all manner or yucky feelings!

She repeatedly discussed revelation and promptings she received from Heavenly Father. She often asked if we could pray together. Can you see how I placed too much trust in someone based on what I was seeing over what I was feeling?

“Something doesn’t feel right” is an indicator that SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT. So. Trust that feeling. Eventually I allowed myself to be deceived. This was a hard lesson to learn. Are you ready for the story?

I WAS DECEIVED. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES!

I had felt for several years I needed to see a therapist, but then I would reason against this thought. It wasn’t until I was camping and had a dream that is too personal to share where essentially I came to understand I needed therapy.

I began to move forward by calling and leaving a voicemail on one therapists line, and a got on a waiting list for another therapist. In the meantime I began listening to a podcast from a local therapist. He gave some good tips. And then, my friend called. “I feel prompted to call you ” she said. “Oh. Okay?” I can’t even remember all that she said but at one point she instructed me on how to overcome anxiety which I will not repeat here for sever reasons.

I began doing everything she taught me. Even thought, something felt off. Fast forward to the next day, and I believed I was following a true and correct source of knowledge and instruction.

It wasn’t until my sister in law showed up and i shared with her my “revelations” and before leaving she shared with me what she knew to be true. I felt a burning I’m my bosom. A sure way of knowing what I was receiving was truth. I immediately questioned what I had received… and gasped…”I think I have been deceived….” my sister in law looked concerned. She eventually left.

Later that day I went to see a replica of the tabernacle described in the Bible. As I was there I kept questioning everything… had I been deceived? Somethings not right. But what? At the end of the tour, I entered a chapel building of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and they had the most beautiful music and images of the Savior. Again I felt that same feeling in my chest. Only this time.. it was more of a peaceful feeling that filled my bosom, confirming that this was truth.

I had been deceived. I thought I was receiving light and truth from a correct source. I apologized to several I had potentially lead astray those few days, especially my husband. It was scary. It was truly a scary experience. One that I hope to prevent others from falling for.

I do not have the whole truth. I have bits and pieces. Light and truth can only come from one source. I can only bate witness of what I know and what I believe.

I believe in God. I believe in Jesus Chrsit. I believe that the Savior died for us, so I can live with God and my family again if I live righteously. I have a hope in Christ. I believe in the power of the Holy Ghost. I believe in revelation. I believe that we have living prophets and Apostles that walk the earth today to lead and guide God’s people. I believe Christ’s church has been restored through the prophet, Joseph Smith. I believe all people can come to a knowledge of this truth if they feast upon the words of Christ and experiment to know for themselves. I believe Christ will return to the earth and reign in His glory. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.